When Life Hands you Lemons, Make Cheesecake

     Today was a day, that should have been spent with the covers over my head. In pajamas, with a chick flick (as my Dad, so eloquently puts it), Kleenex, various bad choices in food, air-conditioning pushed to the max, and all the remotes, plus the neighbor's remotes.

     Ever have those days when, if you acted on what you were thinking there would be a lot of people with holes bore into the back of their heads, and the bumper stickers "If you can read this, then you are too close" or "Tailgater's Suck", was the only rational choice in bumper sticker flair for you.

     Yes I know, we all have wanted to flip a few hundred birds in a day. But we have to just imagine it. I read a post earlier about, when you are running late, then everyone else is taking their time. Been there, done that. I found through experience, it is just better to accept and move on. Don't nerve yourself up on your way to work, there is enough nerving up waiting for you at work, so why waste it on someone that you don't know. At the end of the day it is better to have not flipped the bird than to flip the bird.  Plus you will have a lot less enemies. So, my finger rests at the ready for today.

    Changes are in the air, not only is Summer giving into Fall, but children are going back to school. This is a very anti-climatic moment for me.  I feel bad about it more than my sons do. My sons are 6 years apart, so I have a grueling two hours of shuffling kids off to their predetermined destinations. My oldest is in High School and my youngest is going to be fourth grader.

     Windham Southeast Supervisory Union or to the locals WSESU, is a whole bunch of unnecessary initials, is a group of schools in the Southern and Eastern part of Vermont. See what I mean, just get to the point already. Change blew up WSESU's skirt, and now all the counties in Southeastern Vermont are forcibly impacted by this change. I bet you are thinking, get to the point already! In a nutshell, the high schoolers, according to some remote testing, fair better going to school an hour later. My only response to that is WTH!

     Again I have to say" What the Hell". I would rather use another response, but I am a lady. Where were the bleeding hearts for me, when I had to tuck my keyster in the seat at 8am? Are you kidding me? I did just fine, in fact I was in the honor society, it taught me discipline. The only thing this will teach students is it is OK, to hit the snooze button, because some pony-tailed scientist wrote his thesis on the effect of one additional hour of sleep on the teenaged brain. WTH!

     My family is mildly impacted by this ridiculous brain fart.  But my friends that have small ones can add the facet of buses only being funded one way to school. This makes it hard for anyone to work? What about the single mother with no car,  that desperately needs to work? I would like to ask if they included that in their study? Give me a break, we are giving the youth a reason to hit snooze and call in sick.

     The more I think about it, the more I need Pepto-Bismol. If there was anything desperately, I wanted to convey to my readers is this: FAMILY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO OUR EXISTENCE. Things and situations fall away, but family stands beside you, to fight the good fight. We can rest there, gain strength and push forward.When times get rough, it is time to eat cheesecake, in the dark, in the middle of the night, when no one else is watching, because it makes every thing better.

Traditional New York Style Cheesecake
makes one fat 9 inch cheesecake
Crust
3 2/3 cups graham crackers crumbs
3/4 cup melted butter
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 cup granulated sugar
Filling
36 ounces softened cream cheese(bring the cream cheese to room temperature)
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
5 eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp fresh lemon peel
2 tsp lemon juice

In a bowl combine the graham cracker crumbs, vanilla, cinnamon and sugar and mix with a whisk, add the melted butter and mix thoroughly. Prepare a 9 inch spring-form pan. By this I mean spray liberally with pan spray. Press the crumb mixture into the bottom of the pan, and somewhat up the side. Bake in a 375 oven for 10 minutes to set the crust. Set the crust aside. In a standing mixer beat the softened cream cheese. Let it mix for at least 5 minutes. Then gradually add, and I MEAN GRADUALLY add the sugar until it all is incorporated. You will notice that the cheese and sugar now has a sheen to it (this is good). Add the lemon peel. lemon juice and vanilla and mix. Now turn the mixer down to low and add the eggs one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Somewhere during this process, you need to pull everything stuck at the bottom and sides of the mixer into the mix. When mixing you will see it. After all the eggs are in, turn off the mixer. Line the bottom and sides of your pan with heavy duty aluminum foil( this prevents the water from messing the crust up). Find a pan that will facilitate this spring form pan ( meaning it will fit nicely into the said pan). Pour the cream cheese mixture over the crust and place into your predetermined pan. Add some hot water, that only covers the spring form halfway. Cook in 375 degree oven for 1 hour or until the center is slightly jiggly. Pull from oven and remove from the water bath. With a sharp knife, run the blade in between the pan and the cheesecake to prevent cracking in the middle and allow to cool overnight before you remove the pan. After that, grab your remotes, Kleenex and cherry filling. My advice unplug the phone it messes with the ambiance.

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.  ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes   

  

Everybody Needs a Little Whoopee Pie Now and Again

     Things have changed dramatically for me, when I became a "pseudo-boss". I am suddenly, very aware of the employees time cards, what they are doing during their shifts, and how can I cut corners. Oh My God, do you feel the insanity in that? I used to get mad, when the Executive Chef suddenly was lurking. I get it now.

      I must grow a backbone, or one that I can chuck into the dumpster on the way out.  Before this, I worked for various grandiose chefs that thought balsamic vinegar aged any less that 25 years, was somehow inferior. WELL. yes if you live .... Manhattan. This little neck of the woods is in no way Manhattan. People that live here year round, are just regular working folk, that want to be able to pronounce what they are eating, and not need a weed whacker to eat their entree.

     Small towns are just what they, are small towns, everyone knows every ones  business, and if they don't know, they know someone who does. For example, just recently we had a homicide here. Yes, I know, happens everyday in your neck of the woods. But still, why do we have newspapers? You can learn all you need to know by just asking the right people.

     Trust me, not much happens up here, that is why I live here. But, when something like a homicide happens, all sorts of ideas go through your head. You appreciate your friends a bit more, say " I love you", more often, and keep your children closer. Final decisions such as death, tend to stir up fear in our own lives, whether you live in Manhattan or Brattleboro.

     My life has changed in so many ways. If you told me ten years ago, that I would quit working the hot line, quit smoking, learn to garden, write a food blog, and become a boss. I would probably think you were nuts. One because I don't like change it scares me, and two refer to one. But I should say, I am doggie paddling quite nicely.

    In the past, I craved the adrenalin rush, from cooking during a dinner rush. It was easily 130 degrees, your buried up to your eyeballs in dinner tickets, and it is only 5:30pm. I had a lot of fun, but I missed out on a lot, with my children too. Some days I miss the once was, but less and less. Moving on and change is healthy. I am proof of it.

    Speaking of change, I decided that the Whoopee Pie needed a little facelift. While the Mainers and the Pennsylvanians argue over who did it first, I will sneak a good recipe in.

Red Velvet Whoopee Pies

1/2 cup Butter Flavored Crisco
1 cup brown sugar
1 egg
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract 
1 1/2 tablespoons red food coloring
2 cups flour
1/4 cup cocoa
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup buttermilk
 Cream Cheese Filling
1 cup butter
1 pound confectioner's sugar
1/2 cup marshmallow fluff
2 ounces cream cheese
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

 In a bowl combine all the dry ingredients, being sure to sift the cocoa into the dry, and set aside. In a small bowl, crack your egg and add the vanilla and red food coloring, set aside.  In a standing mixer, add your Crisco and brown sugar and cream. Cool hint* your ice cream scoop(number 8 scoop), that sits most of the time in your drawer, is exactly 1/2 cup, and if you are like me, Crisco is messy. Scoop and your good to go*. While the mixer is on low, add the egg, vanilla and red food coloring and mix well. Starting with the dry, add to the mixer, with the buttermilk until all is incorporated. Cool hint 2* make sure before you are done mixing, to take a good scraping to the bowl. Because the sugar, 9 times out of ten is stuck to the bottom of the bowl, this results in whoopee pies that have the sugar separating from the dough. Kinda like the flat cookie, that is mostly sugar. After it is well mixed. Using a number 12 scoop, kinda the next size smaller.  Scoop your pies evenly apart from each other and bake in a 350 oven until the tops slightly spring back when you touch the top. Cool completely before you fill with the filling. Beat the butter, cream cheese, and fluff until soft, add the powdered sugar and vanilla and beat until fluffy. Well you know the rest.;)

The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook. —Julia Child


 











     

   

A Cool Balanced Diet is A Mousse in Each Hand

     So I am not sure about the rest of the world?, but it is freaking HOT. I am in no way a Southerner, so when it is going to be hot, it is more than my Yankee blood can handle. Friday, my car thermometer registered 110 degrees, and I went no where.

    When it is that hot, all reasoning or ability to not get aggravated, goes right out the window. Friday, I seriously felt, I might need anger management. My good friend Alexis Bennison coined a phrase, that I find myself quoting more than, "Work Smart, Not Hard", it is as follows; "There is Nothing Common about Common Sense". Now, I will let that marinate with you awhile.

     So as you sat, and thought about that little nugget of wisdom, was your first thought, Oh yes, I have been there a time or two. Remember not every brain is wired the same. It was like that all day, only add; grumpy, sweaty, impatient customers, who could care less about how uncomfortable you are, humidity, heat, 6 burner stove, one conventional oven, one convectional oven, a breaker that keeps tripping, 6 aggravated people AND stick all of that in a closet, and see if you might need anger management at the end of 9 hours.

     Another little secret about me, I have OCD, for those that do not know what that means, It is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. When tasks do not get done in the fashion that I would do them, I tend to get antsy, and unable to focus on what I am doing. What a double edge sword! I am my own worst enemy.

     So old news, it is freaking hot. Next week will be the same yada, yada. What can I say? I signed up for food service, and I am quite sure the blood is not dry yet, on the contract. However Saturday I did get the privilege of getting reamed by a woman, one that I never laid eyes on, and two never once talked to, about something that I had no idea about. First, Really Obnoxious Lady, slow your speech down, so I can understand you. Second, let me get a word and lastly, shut the hell up, so I can help you, so you can be happy, and I never have to speak to you again.

     The solution was, having one of my employees drive her precious small tray of bars, all the way to Swanzey, New Hampshire, just about 30 minutes away. Which by the way, was FREE, because you were SO RUDE. All in the hopes, that this woman does not spread her vile tongue all over the area. Hope your bridezilla shower was enjoyable. Don't worry about me, there is Neosporin for my wounds. Can't wait to actually meet you.

     During heat waves, or a heat dome,as my son Casey described it. The last thing that I would like to do is cook. Well if we were going, to be truthful here, that is pretty much every night. Oh come on, there are not those of you that say perhaps, work as plumbers, and your faucets don't leak? If I could get away with take-out every night, and I am being honest, I would definitely try. But enough with the fairy-tales, and on to a cool refreshing dessert.

Lime Coconut Mousse

1 quart heavy whipping cream

6 oz egg yolks

1/2 cup key lime juice

10 oz granulated sugar

1/2 tsp lime extract

2 drops green food coloring

1/2 cup coconut milk 

1/4 cup key lime juice 

1 tsp coconut extract (might have to call them) 

1 1/2 tablespoons powdered gelatin

Whipped cream (decoration)

toasted coconut (decoration)

Whip the cream until stiff peaks form, place in a bowl and refrigerate. In a separate metal wide mouthed bowl combine the egg yolks, sugar, lime juice, extract and food coloring, mix and set aside. In another metal wide mouthed bowl combine the coconut milk, lime juice and coconut extract and stir. Sprinkle the gelatin over the surface of the coconut liquid and allow the gelatin to bloom, what this means is as follows, courtesy of What's Cooking America:   As the gelatin absorbs the liquid, each granule becomes enlarged; this is known as "blooming. Blooming gelatin is a step integral to ensuring the smooth texture of a finished product. It involves sprinkling the powdered gelatin into a liquid and letting it sit for 3 to 5 minutes. Then, when the mixture is heated, the gelatin will dissolve evenly.

You can bloom gelatin in just about any liquid. Avoid the fresh juices of tropical fruits such as papaya, kiwi, mango, and pineapple as they contain an enzyme that will eat the gelatin. Pasteurizing kills the enzymes in these fruits, so canned or frozen juices are fine. So now we understand the blooming process, and that will not frighten you from making a really nice mousse, lets move on. Get a sturdy heavy bottomed saucepan, equipped to handle our wide mouthed bowls, and fill 1/3 of the way with water. Place on the stove and bring the water to a boil. Meanwhile, get your standing mixer, or if you have a hand-held get a big bowl ready for that.(using a hand-held can be done, it just might be messy and aggravating, kinda life a 100 degree day). When the water is boiling, you are going to place the bowl with the yolks securely over the water, and using a potholder to grab the bowl, whip using a wire whisk until it is light colored and frothy. It is important at this stage to keep the mixture moving, because we don't want scrambled lime-flavored eggs. When the temperature achieves 120 degrees transfer to your mixer, and mix on high speed, we are achieving the light texture that mousse so often has. Now take your coconut milk mixture and place over the boiling water and melt the gelatin. This might have to helped along with a stir, because coconut milk is very dense. Once melted, add to the whipping egg yolk mixture until well combined. Remove your whipped cream from the cooler. Fold the egg yolk mixture into the whipped cream, don't panic it, it will be loose. Refrigerate until the mousse has set. Garnish with fresh whipped cream and toasted coconut.

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.  ~Russel Baker

 

 

Staying Out After the Streetlights Come On

     Yesterday was the 4th of July, a national holiday centered around the independence of amassing and thus, the detonation of many colorful creative explosives. This party was three days in the making, and if we include the trip to the TNT fireworks store last week, we are at a full week and the last three days.

     A little secret about Paige, or maybe you already know this, I live with three boys, one is 54(my husband), a 15 year old and a 9 year old. They all have a fixation with explosives. As you can imagine, my trip to the TNT fireworks store was uneventful, to say the least.   I am not knocking the explosives scene, I am just saying, if you have seen one firework store, you have seen them all. I was being the casual observer, noticing that every single male in the store was glassy-eyed, overwhelmed and wondering if they brought enough cash? 

    

      So as if one lighter was not enough, we now have four lighters, in case by some freak of nature, the other three lighters decide to stop working. Keeping them out of the stockpile has been nothing short of a miracle. Every night the big red bag would call out to them "Go ahead, nobody is looking". If I had a nickle for every time they stuck their head in that bag, I would be a rich.

    This year, I took pictures of my Americana in Vermont, and I captured some genuine patriotism.  In years past, we have went to the parade, and did the yada, yada. But crowds these days scare me. Too many people stuffed in an area that could use a little bit more room. So we opted instead to enjoy a quiet 4th, awaiting sundown and the green light to start blowing things up. 

   Yesterday, was very hazy, hot and humid, further adding to the less is more rule. Although, I would have loved to have dove into an ice cold pool, sharing that experience with a gazillion bouncy sugared- up kids was more work that it was worth.

    

Brattleboro is not a big town to begin with, now add a holiday, a pool, kids, parents, vendors, a parking lot, lots of cars, wall to wall people, including tourists, softballs, baseballs, loud car stereos with too much bass, a couple of over-stimulated toddlers having melt downs, and then put all of that on a head of a pin, and you will have the 4th of July at Memorial Park. Some of us think, well "I will get there early", or "I will park far from the crowds". No matter what recipe you use to get in and out of the organized chaos you still will get home at 11pm.

      This is why when my boys start getting the itch to purchase explosives around the last week in June. I must let them go, because a couple hundred fireworks will always beat 500 sardines crammed in a keyhole, I am just saying, I know my limitations.

     This year, I made the kind of cake that nobody wants to admit to making. The corny flag cake adorned with strawberries, blueberries and my personal favorite Cool Whip.

      I am a Chef, and I have seen some cool things during my career. But the last thing I want to be doing on the 4th of July, is making anything that costs too much to make and nobody will eat. I don't care how highly developed your palate is, or how high you can garnish your plate, or on what continent you got your ingredients from. We all started out as kids, even Bobby Flay. We liked ketchup on our hotdogs, tartar sauce on our fishsticks, peanut butter on our celery, the crusts cut off of our sandwiches and most importantly, a cake made from a box with Cool Whip and fresh fruit, that Mom decorated like a flag, just for us.


4th of July Flag Cake (courtesy of Cool Whip and Pillsbury)

1 box of funfetti Stars and Stripes cake mix
1 disposable 13x9 pan
1 tub of Extra Creamy Cool Whip
1 pint of fresh strawberries (any local berries will do)
1 pint of fresh blueberries

Prepare the cake according to the package directions and pour into the 13x9 pan. Bake at 350 for 32 minutes. When completely cool, frost with entire tub of Cool Whip and decorate like a flag. Chill and enjoy with a big glass of milk.

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism. ~Erma Bombeck

Holy Cow, is that a Whoopie Pie?



My friend Lynn, owns cows like these, they are so regal looking, They are Highland cattle or an ancient Scottish Breed, actually very distinguished in my opinion.

     Today, was the "Strolling of the Heifers" Parade, in my "Lil ole neck of the woods" and, I already hear you asking "Pray tell, was is "The Strolling of the Heifers"?  Well, in a nutshell, it is when we parade the cows down the center of town, but don't let that be the only definition. This the tenth year of the event, and I can honestly tell you, I have missed all 10 years, only because I am in the hospitality industry, and well watching cows walk, can make a person hungry and or thirsty.

     The Friday before, is spent with pre-heifer activities like the sandwich competition. HA HA,I  should have entered that, but well, I get tired, and parking downtown really is more tiring. Quite frankly, I would rather stand in line at the The Big E, for a Maine Baked Potato, there is at the very least a prize at the end of the journey. But don't let me and my parking issues stop you, because there is also a Gallery Walk(which is a collaboration of the Arts Council of Windham County, featuring artist like Tasha Tudor) and a Street Festival

     But really that is just the kick off to Saturday, the Parade that starts at 10 am. It is when the local farmers, the town, and the tourists come together to celebrate the Farmer, which really is what allows Vermont to thrive.

     This year the Commonwealth Dairy, is combining with the Coombs Family Farms (seventh generation Vermont maple syrup producers) to make the largest maple-yogurt smoothie, along with local cider and apple producers. The target is to measure 335 gallons, which will beat the current record of 264 gallons, that was set in Toronto, Canada, placing the Commonwealth Dairy and Coombs Family Farms in the Guinness Book of World Records. The estimation is 200 gallons of yogurt, 15 gallons of maple syrup, 200 pounds of crushed apples and 15 gallons of apple cider.....HOLY COW~and, I meant that little euphemism!!!!!~ the greatest part is everything has come from the State of Vermont. Lots and lots of people have worked together to make this happen, and big shout out to all the time and hours that went into the planning!!!

     The festivities end with a Royal Farmer's Breakfast, which happens, just down the street from me. It is where the farmer's come together with a historic landmark The Chelsea Royal Diner (a vintage 1938 Worcester Diner, with the long-forgotten Blue Plate Specials, healthy portions, and prices that don't drain your wallet). Then when it is time to work off that generous breakfast, there is the Tour de Heifer, where bike riders from all over New England are invited to enjoy our gentle, but rigorous(hills, lots of them) countryside, that meander through the local farms and food producers that made the whole Parade possible. The routes are geared for the the novice and the serious, ranging from 6 miles to 60 miles. If you are not into rugged bike climbing up steep mountains or gradual hills, there is the Windham County Area Farm, Food, and Fiber Tour, which is a self guided tour set at your own pace, exploring what makes Vermont so rich. My personal favorite is Elysian Farms the only place for our Christmas Trees.

This is where my husband and I pick out our Christmas tree every year. Thank you to Elysian's for making our Christmas's so special each year! 

Classic Whoopie Pies(and or Cow pies), pictures to follow at a later date

1/2 cup shortening Crisco will do, and butter flavored Crisco (EVEN BETTER)

8 ozs by weight brown sugar

1 large egg

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/3 cup sifted cocoa powder

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

2 tsps(you can get frivolous) pure vanilla extract

1 cup buttermilk

Preheat the oven to 350F. Lightly grease some cookie sheets, or if you have parchment paper, no need to grease. In a bowl combine the flour,baking powder, baking soda, salt, and sift the cocoa into the dry mixture, mix lightly with a whisk and set aside. In a standing mixer, cream the shortening, brown sugar and vanilla extract until light and fluffy add the egg and mix well. Alternately add the wet and dry ingredients until incorporated. * Important secret to a perfect Whoopie~you must pull the bottom of the mixing bowl up into the top so the sugar is well incorporated, otherwise the whoopies will have pools of sugar and not rise properly. Drop by the 1/4 cup(or 1/2 of and ice cream scoop, smooth out a bit, BY NO MEANS FLAT OR FLATTER LIKE), bake about 15 minutes or until firm to the touch. Or if that is vague, with a toothpick poke the top, if it comes out clean, with no batter, you are good to go. Remove and cool completely.

Marshmallow Filling

8 ozs softened butter

1 pound powdered sugar

1/2 cup marshmallow fluff

healthy squirt pure vanilla extract (if you want to get Froggy~here is where you add you flavorings, 1/4 peanut butter, peppermint, raspberry, almond~~~it is your pie, you invent it )

Whip the softened butter and marshmallow fluff until lightened in color, add the sifted powdered sugar at low speed, otherwise you got a big mess, and way more clean up time. Mix until incorporated and add vanilla and your other flavorings that you would like to add. *Important note~if you want a chocolate filling add 1/4 cup melted unsweetened chocolate to the finale product slowly until well incorporated.

Take you whoopie cookie and pipe your filling, top with another cookie and decorate~have fun, there are no rules!!!

There are two kinds of people in the world:  those who love chocolate, and communists.  ~Leslie Moak Murray

We Are Not In Kansas, Anymore



This is Springfield, Massachusetts about 60 miles from Brattleboro

      I should be careful what I ask for. I have always liked thunderstorms, because there is an element of danger outside but, you are cozy and rosy inside, watching the chaos outside. So usually, the fear is  somewhat subdued. Yesterday, fear busted out of its cage, and it needed to be corralled.

     The day started off like any other day, it was beyond hazy, hot and humid. But it was only June 1st, kinda unusual weather this early in the season. But hey, it is New England, so I was not so concerned. The day wore on, and my concerns were: "Do we have enough turkey?", "Hey, the floor needs to be swept!",  and " I better get to go to Achilles Agway because, I am picking out my garden stuff come tornado or not!"



This was the photo, that got me

      I can not even tell you the weather that I experienced, during the time that I was being stubborn. Let me tell you, I live in a valley, and every time NOAA says 90% severe thunderstorms, not even close. When I checked the weather and radar at 4pm, the severe percentage was 50% , so hey it is heading not my way, so business as usual.

     So I get to Achilles and no rain, just really scary clouds ALL-OVER, but I am burying my head in the sand, because I have a mission. Gardening gloves, a shovel thingy and any plants that will do good in morning sun. I must give a "shout out" to the lady that was working at the Agway in Brattleboro that day. She was the bomb, and I am so very grateful for her, taking the time with me to explain, the inner workings of gardening. I am taking pictures, and I will show you, I am a good grasshopper. :)

     So now got my plants, my manure, and all the necessary accoutrement's for successful gardening. Off to Hannaford's I go. When I get inside, I call my husband, and I hear in the background the very noisy annoying warnings and alerts. Only this time, the Weather Channel, has been bypassed by I think, the National Weather Service and it is way louder, and the volume control does not apply to the National Weather Service. This is what he says to me: "Paige, where are you?", "I am in Hannaford's.".. "Stay inside until XX time", "What??!!" "Paige, there was a tornado, that touched down in Springfield, Mass, just a few minutes ago, stay inside!!". I said "What, it is sunny, and just fine here, what? OK, what do you want for dinner?" As I was checking out, the sun, turned to literally darkness. I debated whether to wait inside or go to my car. I went to my car and the sky unleashed a storm, that I have never seen before, in my life. I kid you not, the lightening was just a stone's throw from my car, the thunder at one point really frightened me, and I usually am not one to get scared very easily. The hail was bouncing like ping-pong balls off of the cars in front of me. OK God, you got me, I was afraid.

     For the rest of the time, which would be from about 5:30pm until 6:15pm, I figured out a way to get home with little or no added stress; because we all know Paige, has got enough STRESS. The whole time, the National Weather Service was cutting into Tainted Love on WTSA. I get to Discount Beverage, (the place to get gas on Wednesday, because it is Customer Appreciation Day, 5 cents off) and it is total mayhem. This is not my usual Wednesday. Patience short, not willing to NASCAR a person to a gas pump. I go inside, and realize, unless you have cash for gas, you are SOL. I think I might have had a aneurysm, because I always pay with cash, and the yahoo's that were waiting for the credit gods to reignite the credit highway, were standing in my way of getting my 5 cent off a gallon deal.

      Thanks from Vermont!!! to you flatlanders that think coming to Vermont on Memorial Day weekend is so country, and or rustic. Hey!!, pay attention to the road laws, where it says yield?....hmmmm...wait for it....YIELD!!! I don't care if you have the Donald Trump Edition of a Suburban, it still crashes the same at the end of the day. If I had a nickel for every time, I wanted to lay on the horn for the out-of- towners, who are still driving in the "mindset" of their own town, I would be a millionaire. I will give you, point in case: Vermont Country Deli~exit 2, off of 91 north or south. I don't give a flying butterfly, how big your car is, or how much sesame chicken you need for your "party of 8", you are jamming up the works for the rest of us working stiffs, that have to go either up or down Western Avenue. Please, stay right-sized, we as the the rustic/country folk try to do. OK, off my chest, but I do feel, the Town of Brattleboro should deal with this bunion.

     What better way to deal with human stress ......pastry cream!!! What follows is eclairs from start to finish~~~~here we go :)

Pate a Choux (Part 1)

2 cups of flour

1 pinch of salt

2 cups of water

1 cup of butter

8 eggs

In a saucepan, combine the butter and water. In a bowl, combine the flour and salt. Over medium heat, bring the water to a boil, add the flour mixture slowly, and with a wooden spoon stir until it forms a ball, then take off the heat. Add that mixture to a standing mixer, and gradually add the 8 eggs one at a time,(this provides the leavening) until it resembles somewhat of a sticky dough. From here you can either use an ice cream scoop and make cream puffs, or you can use a pastry bag, without a tip, and pipe the eclairs. *Important note: oven temperature too low, or removing the puffs before fully baked will result in a soggy, sunken eclair. Oven temp 400F for about 15 minutes and then drop the temperature to 350F until the puffs are crisp and golden and somewhat weightless, the water in the dough needs to be steamed out to leaven properly.

Pastry Cream (Part 2)

4 cups of milk, you can use half and half (if you want a super rich pastry cream)
1 cup granulated sugar
2 ozs butter
3 egg yolks
2 tsps pure vanilla extract
1/4 tsp pure almond extract (or you can substitute any 1/4 tsp extract)
1 healthy pinch of salt
1/2 cup cornstarch

In a saucepan combine the 3 cups of milk, 2 ozs of butter and 1 cup of sugar. Place on stove and bring to a scald (this means almost to the boiling point). In a mixing bowl, combine the 1 cup of milk, egg yolks, vanilla and almond extract, pinch of salt, and cornstarch mix until combined. Ladle some of the hot milk slowly, until the temperature of the egg mixture and the milk mixture is about the same. Pour all the egg mixture into the saucepan and heat until the cream thickens(you will know when it happens, just keep your flame regulated and not too high) Pour into a bowl and cover the surface of the cream with a piece of plastic wrap, this prevents a skin forming on the surface. Chill.

Ganache (Part 3)

1 1/2 cups chocolate chips
3/4 cup heavy cream
1 Tbs coffee
1 tsp pure vanilla extract

Heat cream with the coffee and vanilla until scalding, pour over chocolate chips and let set. Using a whisk mix the chocolate cream mixture until well combined and shiny.
Assembly
So here we go........Take your precooked beautiful,lovely airy, and light eclair puffs, and stab the bottom three times evenly across the bottom, and with a pastry bag filled with the pastry cream, the tip you need is a #6 standard pastry tube. Fill the eclair until heavy and no more could possibly get in there.
Dip that fat baby in your ganache, and what we like to do, is to melt some white chocolate in the microwave (with a little bit of Crisco, this helps to make the chocolate shine and aids in drizzling) heat it at 10 second intervals, because white chocolate is very fuzzy and can seize. Drizzle it over the ganache and make a patterns, by dragging a toothpick to and fro~Just have fun with it, because it won't last that long.

There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles. ~Author Unknown