Friday, June 11, 2010

The loitering Lobster.

Well lobsters, lobsters, lobsters!!! Hmmmm, I have been thinking about this topic for awhile and how I would capture the readers attention about the little buggers, and I mean buggers. I have been accidentally cut, jabbed and nicked by these delicacies more times than I want to admit to. Gladly ,only one time on a dare(you know who you are!) I purposely stuck my finger in his unbanned claw. Let me tell you those suckers are strong, but alas, and I say this laughing now, I whipped the little varmint across the kitchen with no warning to hold on. It rued the day it messed with me, I think it was a guest to dinner?
So here goes the Lob blog. Long ago, WAY before the fillet-o-fish, lobsters were so plentiful that farmers used them as fertilizer on their fields, and fisherman used them as bait. In Colonial times, they were actually considered "poverty food". They were harvested from the shores and tidal pools and fed to children, prisoners and slaves.(What??!! we had slaves in the North??) Well, let me tell you, these servants(slaves) rebelled against the Man. Result, a contract that stated servants were not to be served lobster more than 3 times a week.
Lobster at that time were mainly gathered along the shoreline, until the introduction of trapping. We all know what supply and demand means, the demand went up and voila here come the Smackmen. These men were named Smackmen because of their vessel, the well smack. They were small boats with tanks inside the boat that had holes drilled into it, to allow the sea-water to circulate, allowing these fishermen to keep the lobsters alive over long distances. We have come along way since then, now dealers can wait for the price to increase or allow a molted lobster time for it's shell to harden.
So how do you cook a lobster? Well it depends how guilt-ridden you are. But here is a humane way that might help you sleep at night. When you bring your lobsters home, put them directly under refrigeration to numb them up(kinda like hyper-sleep) , get your sea-water (regular water OK too) to a rolling boil and while your head is turned away, drop them in and slam the lid down, a few hail Mary's good to go.
So how do know if it is a Lucy or a Larry the Lobster, easy: a female has a wider tail to accommodate eggs, and the legs on the underside of the tail called swimmerets are feathery. The male's legs will be bony and hard.
What if you want to stuff the lobster? Well you would boil it much in the same fashion as I mentioned before, but you would only par-boil it for about 5 minutes. Remove the lobsters, and place it on it's back to cool so you can touch it. Take a sharp knife and cut the lobster down middle. Remove the dark vein that runs along the tail at the top, the tomalley or green stuff and the sand sac in head area, behind the eyes. Stuff with your favorite stuffing, mine is a combination of Ritz crackers and Clams Casino.
Life expectancy would grow leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.~Doug Larson


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