"How many women you see in this kitchen? Only me. Why do you think that is? Because high cuisine is an antiquated hierarchy built upon rules written by stupid, old men. Rules designed to make it impossible for women to enter this world, but still I'm here. How did this happen?"
"You think cooking is a cute job, eh? Like Mommy in the kitchen? Well, Mommy never had to face the dinner rush while the orders come flooding in, and every dish is different, and none are simple, and all different cooking time, but must arrive at the customer's table at the exactly the same time, hot and perfect! Every second counts and you CANNOT be MOMMY!"
"What is this? Keep..your..station clear! Messy stations slow things down, food doesn't go, orders pile up, disaster! I will make this easier to remember: keep your station clean......or I WILL KILL YOU!"
Whenever you heard the statement the "winds of change", did you ever knowingly apply it to your life? Maybe secretly, but never outwardly, so that there were others that could vouch for your transformation. I went through that, the last 3 years. What a uphill climb it has been. In February of 2008, a non-healing sore under my nose, started to wear on my mind. I come from a family of basal cell carcinomas. All of us, father, mother, sister and I. I went to the doctor, and in fact, it confirmed what I already knew. But, what I was not prepared for was, what the plastic surgeon told me, (with unfortunately my husband present, as a witness) "Paige, NO Smoking 2 weeks before and 4 weeks after". Holy Cow, that is 6 weeks, we are going to need an exorcism. That my readers, was the beginning of the transformation.
I prided myself as a smoker, just ask anyone! What, I was not prepared for, was a doctor with a super fat microscope on the top of his head and needle equally as big. He did what you all are so scared to admit, he stuck my face with a needle no less than six times, around the right ala of the nose. Which means the lateral surface or the part the flares the nose out. This in lay men's terms is a really bad thing. But let's remember, I am still burying my head in the sand. This doctor preformed a Mohs procedure. That means that they shave the surface of your skin to cut out the cancer. Let me remind you, that basal cell is benign, but if left unchecked it can turn ugly. Either way it was done, cancer free and ready to start anew.
Well, during this transformation, I gained fifty pounds, that I put on over a year and half, caused by a sluggish thyroid(which BTW girls, that are smoking because it keeps you slim, smoking can effect your thyroid). I was done with, staying inside and feeling sorry for myself, and it was time to do something different. Flower bed, OK I can handle that, a few potted plants, a couple hanging plants, OK still manageable. Herb garden~Let's see how out of control it can get.
Here is the herb garden, somewhat virgin like, just ready to be tamed.
My husband and I, took this all on when it is about 95 degrees out, and we have to wait until dark, even to go outside and work on it. It is humid as heck, the mosquitoes have taken up shop right next to us, inviting the biting gnats, that come out only when we touch the soil to weed the rocks out. So a project that normally would take 1 day, has taken three because someone forgot to rename Brattleboro~ Death Valley. Here are the herbs, just screaming to be planted. However, thunderstorms and not your average run-of-the-mill thunderstorms, have decided otherwise.
Long story short, last night Jeff (my husband) and I, furiously planted the herb garden, all the while watching an approaching storm. We literally dug the last plant, and the sky opened up. That is not even the funniest part. After the rain, I was very excited to show my cat Giggle, the Catnip that I so lovingly planted for him. What a bad, bad plan. I had to go get the flashlight, to even see him, because he is black. When I came back, he was rolling on my chocolate mint, and Greek oregano, and had the catnip in a choke hold. I grabbed for him to get him out, and he hissed. Very effective on a dark, stormy night.Then, I tried to pick him up and he bit the snot out of my hand. Oh what to do, what to do!! I go inside, grab dry the food and then shake it right next to his ear. Ten second delay and he realizes "Oh wow, food for my trip". The Einstein that I am, I shake it on the ground to get him out of the garden. Snake him up, drop ship him to the house, and then realize whoa..I just have provided food for the neighborhood cats, and a gratuitous romp in my garden. Back out to the back yard, to pick up the cat food, and another chance to get bit and hissed at. Wow, what a bad, bad plan.
Upper right hand corner "the catnip".
Today, all I thought about was a brothel of neighborhood cats, having a pool party in my well-thought out herb garden, and Giggle serving up seconds on the other end of the garden, where I planted another plant. I went straight to Wal-Mart and bought two cherry tomato plants, walked straight out to the garden, up came the catnip and in went the tomatoes. Here is what is left of the one catnip plant, that we did not plant in the woods.
He rolled it to death, and there it lies.
The garden is the poor man's apothecary. ~German Proverb