Wednesday, June 30, 2010

New Beginnings!!

Diets, ever notice when you remove the T it is die. I have struggled with my weight for 20 years and still struggle on a daily basis.  What's worse, I am a chef..I am hired to make you spectacular meals all the while, I am having this personal inner battle.  I have known fine food and I am friends with healthy foods. But the grass is greener on the fine food side of the fence.
I smoked for 23 years and it was what kept my weight at bay. I quit 2 years ago, because well it is expensive,unattractive and plain just not smart.  I used it for years as a stress-reliever and I felt I was justified, because hey,I just served 150 plus people in a 130 degree kitchen without any plates coming back and I was going on my 10th hour of schlepping food without a break.. It can make a girl a little stressed. But we all know what happens when a family sprouts up in the midst of garnishing plates. Your priorities change, all of sudden the rush shifts to little faces lighting up when you come through the door.  I missed a lot when my oldest was growing up, Christmases, birthdays and holidays, time that I will never get back. Things change, I was not being a good role model, standing by the garbage dumpster smoking a cigarette in the dark, like a junkie..that is what cigarettes had become for me.
So I quit and my husband who never smoked was elated as you could imagine,  I
have to say besides having children quitting smoking was the among the most amazing things that I have ever done. It was very tough and I know that at times I was unbearable to be around. 
So 2 years later, after the wreckage has been cleaned up, here I am 52 pounds heavier, Dr. B and I saw it with our own four eyes, somehow revealing my weight to him did not sting as much as it has with other doctors.  Maybe I am surrendering..not giving up,  just ready to take another road.  This a new beginning for me, I am 6 months away from being 43, and as of yesterday I was 201.2 pounds, too much for someone barely 5' 2'.  Life has a habit of getting away from you and time marches on. The part that is a challenge is that I am a chef and my love affair with food has placed me here. When I was younger I could take off the weight no problem, but it would and has come right back.  I have yo-yoed all my life.  I really want to get off the merry-go-round.  The first step is said to be the hardest and it is.  Imagine what a kick-ass chef I could be if I gave the world healthy alternatives.  I will still talk about the sinful pleasures in cuisine but I will also offer a healthy counterpart the angel on our shoulder .  So lets cook together, Allez Cuisine!!!!

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